Day to day she tried to convince her ridiculous thoughts to acknowledge the fact that the young man whom she was on tenterhooks, was undeniably not doomed for her. Her devotions was a misconduct - a crime! He was a complete foreigner, an alien, existing thousands of miles away, and it was a mission impossible for both of them to be brought back together. The windfalls were not heading her way.
A couple of
times she had this nightmare. A beautiful one. A dream full of hopes and
excitement. She fantasized of running away from home with the man she loved to a secret place where they could fall in love again but she only ended waking up feeling more troubled by the fantasy. It was just a game in her dreams. Haunted by the wonders, she imagined how nice it would be
if it was as simple as that - pack her bags and go!
She was okay for some days and on some other times she
was impassable. The devotions and anticipations still exist in her. She would not want to let him go. She was craving
for the day when the young man would at least send her some verses. She was
waiting for just a simple ‘Hi’ and that would reduce the suffering. ‘How could he be so cruel?’ and she
broke down into deep silent weeps at the corner of her chamber.
She hoped that one day he would realize she did truthfully care for him and that he was going to miss her being there for him. She might have been worthless to him now but one of these days he would look back and wished things could be different. She might have erased his texts but she would never forget what he wrote. They might have stopped talking but she would never forget his voice. Anything they did she would never forget. One day this pain would make sense to him. If he was late, he would only have a memory to hug because she would not be there anymore. Those were all in her thoughts, in her sobs, in her monologue.
She hoped that one day he would realize she did truthfully care for him and that he was going to miss her being there for him. She might have been worthless to him now but one of these days he would look back and wished things could be different. She might have erased his texts but she would never forget what he wrote. They might have stopped talking but she would never forget his voice. Anything they did she would never forget. One day this pain would make sense to him. If he was late, he would only have a memory to hug because she would not be there anymore. Those were all in her thoughts, in her sobs, in her monologue.
She spent the whole month in an altered frame of
mind. There was no excitement. She was at her sister’s more often than usual
because she had lost her appetite and that she thought her sister’s excellent
cooking could help her in the food taking during iftar.
Her body and soul were clearly affected physically and emotionally by her state of affairs. She missed him so badly. Her fragile being could no longer withstand the torture and she couldn’t believe that she had drastically lost so much weight. Not a day that she forgot the man. Her love never seemed to recede. She spent her days in seclusion, praying and hoping to nothingness.
🍁🍃🍂🌿🍀🌿🍂🍃🍁🍁🍃🍂🌿🌾🌿🍀🌷🍂🍁🌿🍂🌳🍂🍃🍂
Her body and soul were clearly affected physically and emotionally by her state of affairs. She missed him so badly. Her fragile being could no longer withstand the torture and she couldn’t believe that she had drastically lost so much weight. Not a day that she forgot the man. Her love never seemed to recede. She spent her days in seclusion, praying and hoping to nothingness.
🍁🍃🍂🌿🍀🌿🍂🍃🍁🍁🍃🍂🌿🌾🌿🍀🌷🍂🍁🌿🍂🌳🍂🍃🍂
Tiada ulasan:
Catat Ulasan