Isnin, 19 September 2016

I wish you knew......❤

There was this boy, a boy like no other, who I observed whenever I had the chance. This boy was handsome and had this honest kind look, the sweetest smile and the most beautiful eyes. Although I observed him, I never felt observed by him, like really, how could someone like him could ever lay eyes on me?  I'm not as young as him and he was perfect. If only you knew, that guy was you.
I met him when I was scrolling a page on Facebook. I added him in my list and we got clicked very easily. When we first started talking, I literally couldn't sleep because of all the butterflies, the boy who had been my crush, finally spoke to me. I was taken by surprise when he called me on the phone. That was the first time I got to hear his voice. You, out of people,  I suddenly became super attached to you and I didn't want us to stop talking, but that was the last I heard your voice. We only chatted on WhatsApp but not as often. Yes, although you probably won't believe it, I still remember that day when you told me I was beautiful, at first it was hard to believe, but somehow, you made me feel that those words were the most honest anyone had ever told me. I had fallen hard for you. I couldn't take you out of my mind. I waited for your name to appear on my screen and whenever the cell beeped, I hoped it was a text from you. I was disappointed of course for it was not always from you. I could be very angry about the matter, but then again I'm talking about someone who I just can't stay mad at. We are not bound to any kind of commitment. We were just friends from the distance.
Days and weeks passed and we stopped talking to each other, our lives involved us in other important matters and we just stopped talking to each other, though I always wanted to start another beautiful conversation, but my fear was always that may be I was annoying you, so I didn't, and all that was left was me missing you. Would you be missing me too?  We got distanced when you shut off yourself from me the day you went back to your homeland for the summer break. I was prepared for the worst and that I had the feelings, that this could be the end of our connection. You were silent for the whole month, and I took it as an answer that you didn't want me to have anything to do with your life.  I was at the brink of losing my insanity for missing you, but what could I do?  I fought my own battle silently and forced myself to accept the fact that you weren't meant to be in my life. It hurt me whenever I saw your name on your status and that was the only source I had news about you. I dared not touch you, for I realized that if I wanted to heal my wounds, I had to stop touching it. 
And then something dreadful happened in your country. An outbreak exploded when your militant commander was killed in an ambush. Thousands flocked together to give respect to the deceased and there was an unrest in the valley.  Suddenly I was so worried about your safety which I shouldn't give a heed. Why should I?  You wouldn't care less for me and why should I for you?  However, my heart wouldn't abide to my logical mind. I couldn't be at ease until I knew that you were safe and sound.  It took me all the courage and guts to give you a call. It was so relief to hear your voice after such a long time.  I was lost of words. It was a short, brief talk and that was just enough to calm me down. Not long after that I got your message.  You were no longer in your homeland. I felt much happier for you and that you were then at a comfort zone, away from the riots. I thought I was over you after the long silence. You appeared out of nowhere and with your ability of always saying the right thing, you made me fall for you all over again. May I ask why?  I knew you could have left me as you did anytime now, but I thought that it's not your fault, maybe distance is what affected us.  When I talk to you now, I still get the same butterflies I got from the first time you talked to me, not one point less. What will happen next? I wish I knew....

Sabtu, 17 September 2016

Once Upon A Time....

Once upon a time, there was an untold story of a Queen from the East who got lured and trapped by a General from the North in a continent of the cold mountains. This young, brilliant warrior, like any other men in his land, had an insatiable desire, a voracious thirst for women and girls. He treated them like a box of chocolate,  enjoying different kinds one after another. Until the next box of chocolate comes around he didn't know what to choose from because he thought they were all the same.  Until one day, the General came across a female who for no real reason appeared in his list  and they became friends in a flash of lightning,  quick and easy.
The General started his first cunning attacks by manipulating his victim with his good choices of pretty words, or praises and admiration which in no time melted the Queen's vulnerable innocent heart. Being all alone in her solitude and silence world in her cocoon for too long, the abusive warrior gained the trust of his prey as easy as falling off the log. The sweet thawed whispers and the soft romantic persuasive pleads have awaken the Queen from her years of hibernation, her slumber. She was carried away and blinded by the kinds of feelings people write novels about. She surrended and sold her whole self, body and soul to the devil. The General, was a male gladiator with unquenchable feelings of lust, true to his blood race, savored and ravished every inch of her sweetness, trespassing and ogling her secret treasures until he got sick of her.
Not knowing that she would be abandoned so soon, thrown to rot in debris of unspeakable pain of heartache, the Queen clandestinely fell in deep devotion of love n affection for the General. The wall of defence to her untouched kingdom collapsed into pieces. The General had again won the battle without much effort of struggle, negotiation or signing treaties. Having shamely defeated the Queen, he began his next typical stir as men of his kind did - slowly making himself unavailable, distancing gradually, leaving the Queen waiting,hoping and expecting with anxiety and desperation - yearning for his cruel, sadistic embrace every minute of the hours and days.
Wordlessly like a ghost, he galloped off and vanished into the valleys, back into his homeland without saying goodbye or a mere explaination, dumping the helpless Queen on the crossroads of forlorn and dejection, torn and shredded into pieces, in disappointment and shame.
Swallowing all the sobs and tears, that breathlessly suffocating her, and after months of heart wrenching agonies, she finally came into every waking senses that the General was not a Prince Charming after all, far from being a Knight with shunning armour. He was indeed a cruel living thing with a rotten senseless heart,  a werewolf in a sheep's clothing and he was a beast at what he did. The Queen was injured and in great devastation,  licking her deep cut wounds and mistakes, in the deep silent nights of sorrow all alone. She cried so hard that she thought she could fill the Indian Ocean all the water her body was losing. She should not have likened her love to a stranger. The grotesque gladiator was no match for someone as sweet natured as her. Being kindness herself and true to her love,  she held no revenge or anger to the young man. She had survived from what she thought would kill her which made her more grateful and that everything happens for a reason. Seasons change, so do people.
Despite everything, she couldn't stop herself from loving the General. Even at a distance, a simple glance was just enough to quake her heart and awaken her more love. She loved him from that distance, softly and slowly. Day by day she had learned to strengthen her crown and moved forward like a real Queen.  She's all alone again naturally and she would live happily ever after. ❤