An Epilogue

There was a great u-turn in my life when I lost something most precious in November seven years ago - my courage, my sacrifices and what  I lived for.  It was the most painful tragedy I had ever endured after a year of battling and struggling to resume a normal life with great hope and confidence. I could not help myself into grieving and mourning until I lost my voice and my eyes were swollen and that the doctor strongly advised me to stop weeping otherwise I would likely to lose my vision. It was months later before I could finally accept the fact that nothing in this world is immortal and forever there to exist in life.

Learning myself to lead the days as ordinary as possible, I carried out my routines at my new ambience where I was relocated a few months after I moved out to the present new home. Life gradually began to change to normalcy as I came to like my new environment. I found freedom being all by myself more exciting although there were times I missed my old days. I kept reminding myself that everything happens for a reason and that I should carry on with my life without it. Lamenting what was lost would only make my life more complicated. I had my privacy and I made my own decisions without misgivings and the feelings of doubt or second thoughts. More importantly I was satisfied with who I was then- independent, happier and financially stabled. At last I was the CE of my life!

Everything seemed perfect and without fault for seven long years ahead. Until one day in April 2016, I got myself clicked so easily to a hombre from beyond the sea. I thought I had enough sufferings and that enough was enough as I had built a strong wall of defence so high that I made certain no one could ever able to climb it over. However this one chap had managed to break my fortress as easy as falling off the log. I fell and drowned into his words of praise and appreciations. My life wàs swayed off course and I was trapped into the webs of uncertainty, hopelessness and expectations once again.  I lost all rationale and considerations and that I began to get inspired to write and spilled my heart out on the paper. I spent every hours, days and weeks  writing and pouring my despairing heart into my journal pages and blog. It was a horrible undescribable feeling when you need someone and that the reality was you couldn't have it. It was worst than facing death itself!

And after much brainstorming and deep thoughts, I realized I had to deal with this stumbling block that was hurdling me the whole year. I wanted to conclude 2016 with a brave act, an epilogue to this melancholy once and for all. No matter how the consequences would be, either I had to swim cross the oceans or soaring the endless blue skies, I had to come face to face with my nightmare - the General from the Cold Mountains!